A post on grinding through some days.  Do you ever have days where you are looking forward to the end of the day right at the beginning?  I know you have – I have had such days.  One thing I am learning and trying to pass along to those who I mentor or influence is that sometimes it is ok to grind through a day.  But if your grinding starts turning into a week or a month, or a year – then you are in trouble.  Your life can become a grind. 

What is interesting is that I run into people who have been grinding for years and they always blame institutions, people, failed relationships, etc. for their grind.  Usually there is one common denominator for their problems – them.  I have been there trust me.  I grinded quite a bit in Washington DC and blamed supervisors, etc when things did not go my way.  Wake up today if you are blaming others for your problems.  Yes, we can come from tough family situations and that can have an impact on us.  Yes, we can come for economically challenged situations and that can be a huge obstacle.  Yes, we can have the deck stacked against us, but today let us try and make a change. 

You can’t change 10 years of griping in one day, but you can change the next second.  How are you going to use it?  JVD

Picture of my new niece:  Alison Rose – what a cute baby!  Can’t wait to see her in a few months. Congrats to my sister and brother n law!  She is just a wee baby – so cute!  It is quite amazing to me how the whole birth process / raising a child / living your life / what will it mean thing plays out.  It seems like yesterday I was in college and now it is 10 years later - time goes by fast when you are having fun.  I am glad that in life I have fun.  Whether it is going to Handel’s Messiah at Orchestra Hall with my wonderful wife, or going for a run around a beautiful lake, my life is truly blessed.  Sure it is not all rosey, but for the most part I really cannot complain.  Here’s to Alison Rose and I hope I can be a great Uncle. 

Have a great Monday wherever you all are at.  JVD

It just kind of crept on me in the past few days that the holiday season is now upon us in full force.  I do not know if it was the fact my wife asked me to go hear Handel’s Messiah at the St. Paul Cathedral tonight, or that I continue to hear people scream on Fox News about how secular humanists and atheists are making a stink about the Holiday Season, Mangers, Christmas etc.  It brings me to an idea that I have thought about for a long time and really have landed in an area where I would not have expected when I was in high school. 

I am a huge separation of Church and State person.  Let us glance at the first amendment of the Constitution:

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

So, the fact that people are arguing for mangers in public buildings just seems to me to go against the document that governs our country.  It is easy for Christians to support mangers in schools when Christians are in the majority in our country.  Let us now imagine a day when you live in a school district that is all Muslim or any other religion you do not agree with.  Would you want a display of Mecca in the school courtyard?  No, probably not.  So, why do we force Christmas on Muslim’s, Jews, and people of other faiths?  Ridiculous.  It is easy when you are in the majority to tell the minority what you think is right.  Just a thought, or two.  JVD

Some of you might remember a few weeks ago my wife and I went through the wonderful process of finding out, on a Monday morning, that we had no hot water.  So we worked with the hot-water heater guy, and the electrician and got a new water heater installed.  Well the other day we found we had no hot water once again.  To make a long story short, the electrician we worked with did a shoddy job and we are still trying to get everything resolved, and I had to shower at work today.  These things almost always seem to happen when the temperature is -2 outside.  So, hopefully today, our brand new – top of the line water heater will work correctly. 

On a much brighter note, I am now an uncle once again!  Six years ago my wonderful niece Taylor Marie was born.  Now, as of yesterday, Taylor has a new baby sister, named Alison Rose.  My sister and brother n’ law are quite excited as are Danielle and I.  are now again, Aunt and Uncle.  My prayer for Alison Rose is that she gets a chance to live out how she was created and for whatever purpose that might be.  I pray that she will be a world changer. 

Good thoughts everyone on mentoring.  I am going to go through, in the coming weeks, different types of mentors you might want to consider having, and for what purpose.  My main thing to everyone is:  Have a mentor – and, when you are confident enough, mentor someone else. 

Mentoring – Continued:  Thanks for the great discussion on the last post.  Sam Radford asked a pertinent question that I will lead off with in this post:  Question: Who’s responsibility is mentoring? Is it up to the person wanting to be mentored to hunt someone down (Elisha style) or should the older (in both age & maturity sense) generation be actively picking out people and mentoring them?

Yes, you need to hunt down a mentor.  One of my current mentors, Steve, is a pastor, aged 40ish, married, and a healthy not-needy person.  Steve needs nothing from me.  I need Steve.  He shows me, by his life and advice (we meet about once a month) how to live.  I love Steve, he is great.  He invests in me, prays for me, I don’t deserve Steve, but I have him.  I sought out Steve and asked him to mentor me, because he was a healthy person who I admired.  He took about 6 weeks to decide, but he did.  We agreed (very important) to meet 1 X per month (we sometimes golf) for 1 year.  From there we will reevaluate our relationship.  It is key to set boundaries and parameters on mentoring.  Don’t expect something from someone that they cannot give.  I found Steve. 

Yes, it is also the older generations job to find and mentor people.  I have had people like my boss, Greg, who sought me out and mentored me.  He, as mentioned in my last comment on the last post, mentors many and considers it his job to pout out his life to the next generation.  Greg is like Jesus to me in my life.  Greg needs nothing from me.  I need Greg.  He mentors me in a professional and personal manor. 

So, both – we need to find mentors and mentors need to find us.  It is a both/and.  These are both examples of active personal and professional mentors.  Sometimes different, but with similarities and crossover.  Tomorrow I will talk about mentors at a distance.  And, more about how you should have a ‘board of directors’ for you life. 

What do you all think?  Who do you mentor?  Who mentors you?  Who should you mentor?  JVD

Have you ever run across someone who you knew was talented, but it was obvious no one every mentored them?  When I work with twenty-somethings I see talent, promise, life direction setting, the slate is blank, etc – I am so excited for them as they try and set the course for their lives.  What an amazing group to work with.  Always gets me fired up. 

When I see thirty-somethings who are still trying to figure it out, I am not super concerned but realize the time for them to set the course of their life is dwindling.  The ability to change old habits is becoming less and less.  Their talent / potential is slowly but surely becoming something that they are not tapping into and they are making mistakes they should have learned to avoid when they were in their twenties. 

When I see forty-somethings who have not figured it out, who have talent, but are not using is for anything.  That is really tragic.  My thoughts on mid-life crisis are starting to revolve around the fact that people will have crisis in their life if they never figure it out.  (I realize I am 31, but go with me here)  It is incredibly awkward when I see a forty-something taking on every battle that comes their way, having no boundaries, etc.  I pray for twenty-somethings because they need mentorship. 

Don’t get me wrong here.  I think people can change, but I do believe there is a direct correlation between age and how much one can change. 

I see things – and it pains me when I see people who no one invested in, or if someone tried, these folks did not listen.  Learn the lessons you are being taught, pick your battles, act the same way you would like to be treated towards others.  Fight your selfish self, pray that I do the same.  Care about people who live near you. 

JVD

Welcome Back – After some debate in my busy brain I have decided to keep blogging.  A few key reasons for this (thanks for the feedback from you all it helped bring some clarity to why I do this on a semi-daily basis.)

1.  This blog helps me stay connected to friends, family, fellow bloggers, etc.

2.  It helps me process out what I am thinking on a daily basis and forces me to have some point and not just sit around and complain without doing anything about it.  (like beeping my horn at someone who cut 30 cars off today by skipping a line – who am I, the Minneapolis police?  Gone are the days (remember JW) of me racing my Dodge 1982 Convertible at every stoplight against every car. 

3.  My wife can’t handle all that is going on in my head I have to vent it not just at her.  So, you all are helping my wife, God Bless her. 

4.  There are a number, a pretty significant number of people who subscribe to this blog and seem to value what I have to say. 

5.  I can never stop thinking and growing, or I will start dying.  Like Morgan Freeman said in the Shawshank Redemption – “You either get busy living, or get busy dying.”  Never were there more true words spoken.  This blog is a part of my life, and living.  Experiencing life on a different (digital) level. 

So, like other bloggers (who probably just stop writing for a while), who think what is the point of blogging, I just aired these thoughts out in public.  Thanks for being patient with me.  JVD

Also, I just love that Junior Mints are “Creamy Mints in pure chocolate.”